Maybe

Well I surely guess it’s a devil work. Soon enough, a year to go and we’re so much eager to get married but then puffff, knot getting curled up more and more complicated and one by one problems surfaced up until we re-think again, are we going to make it? Kak ik told me it’s only because you’re both knowing each other very well and tend to easily hurt your partner. I reckon he’s hurt by my stupid childish provocation and he knew I’m hurt sometimes with his harsh words but look world, we’re still together up till now and I called it a miracle.

I can’t wait for Monday. Like seriously can’t wait :)

I’m sorry for my stupidity and thank you for keep bearing with me.

Last

This post is the last one I’ll type from Egypt because tomorrow I’ll travel back to Malaysia for this Winter vacation. So so so so, everything’s getting hectic. I was very tired for these past few days. I went shopping non stop. Got no enough sleep, and rest I’m gonna die. And also some people wrecked my nerves, some people makes me happy, some people is getting much more annoyed, some people gets hurt and oh, despite of all mood variability, I don’t care with you you you and you. I am happy with all decisions I made. I am not having any hard feelings and I learn to let go things that destroyed my day.

I don’t think I can keep blogging anymore because I don’t have that kind of sharing feeling anymore. I reckon this is maybe temporary or transitory period but seriously that kind of excitement disappear. No stories and diaries anymore.

Bye for now. I’ve got to tidy up everything and start packing!

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This is called LOVE

If a guy truly loves you, he will NOT….

1. If a guy truly loves you, he will not hurt you.

2. If a guy truly loves you, he will not be disrespectful and cruel.

3. If a guy truly loves you, he will not ridicule or belittle you.

4. If a guy truly loves you, he will not treat you poorly.

5. If a guy truly loves you, he will not disregard your concerns and needs.

6. If a guy truly loves you, he will not be indifferent or apathetic towards you.

7. If a guy truly loves you, he will not put the needs of other women above yours.

8. If a guy truly loves you, he will not use you.

9. If a guy truly loves you, he will not abuse you.

10. If a guy truly loves you, he will not lie, cheat, or betray you.

(credits : http://howtotellifaguyisajerk.blogspot.com/2007/02/if-guy-truly-loves-you-he-will-not.html)

Dayman Maak

Or directly translated : Always with you

All women longed to be the main cast in this video clip! Especially for :

1. (2:41) When she failed to grab the can on upper higher shelf, he suddenly turned up and gave a hand.
2. (3:23) She cooked and the outcome is awful, but he smiled.
3. (3:46) He kissed the woman’s hand as an appreciation and sign of being grateful & thankful for she at least got the effort to cook.
4. (4:18) A kiss on her forehead in front of her friends before he goes out.
5. (4:31) Whispering ‘Bahebbik‘ (I love you).
6. (5:05) Reads her a bedtime story until she fell asleep on his arm.
7. (Overall) He never stops smiling whenever she is around.

Keep dreaming & praying girls. Who knows one day, you’ll experience the same thing and this is mainly because you met the right person who loves you unconditionally. And you love him back exclusively the same way :)

Episode 79 : Happy birthday to my special patient.

May God bless us with a beautiful ending of marriage :)

Happy vs Worry

Those are things which bring smile today :

Homemade steak!

Jolly was trapped.

The boyfie’s picture.
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And this is the ONLY suckerrr!

Mansoura Univ Children Hospital

As usual : the nuisance.

A big mountain of books and courage and hardness and so and so coming out soon on this 31st December. I have Pediatric paper on that disaster day but somehow still counting days to fly back again to Malaysia soon.

To be happy or frown? You choose.

Future

When I was asked by my sister : Are you sure enough with your decision? You are still young.

I was suddenly speechless. Am I not sure? For approximately one year and 5 months, is this my final decision for the rest of my life? I failed to answer.

I came across Jiji’s Facebook to find this :

Dear FUTURE Husband 

I will cook. I will clean. I will shop. I will be the best wife, ever, InsyaAllah..
I will dress up for you. I will maintain my appearance for you. I will make sure to be the best wife I can be, InsyaAllah.. I will have children with you & I will raise them to be the best they can be. I will be the best mother, InsyaAllah..
All this – as long as you promise me one thing..

Help me, accompany me in getting to Jannah!

Ameen. Absolutely beautiful isn’t it.

at KLIA : upon returning to Malaysia due to chaos in Egypt

Entrapped

I know this sounds like a mere stupid idea but I felt like I am another person whom entrapped in this body and she was trying to escape mercilessly. No no I wasn’t talking about being transgender!! That was a total insane and my brain is still functioning in its perfect equilibrium. ‘The thing’ that the other one of me wants to do is…a special something. Ha ha! I want to tell the whole world abt it but first thing to do is for sure having this medicine course done and gather a lot sum of money. Nothing can be started with zero pocket no?

Get medicine done, and we’re one step ahead a little incognito Hamyana :)

I’m a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.

LDR

(is an abbreviation for Long Distance Relationship)

This dedication poem suddenly scattered in my mind. I’ve never ever wrote any poem before but err this is a first trial and especially self made for you :

I would like to talk about how adventurous and survivor it is
to be in this gobsmacking country I’ve had been living for almost 5 years
Nothing is ever interesting to be a topic for individual soliloquy discussion
as you come and sprinkle me some of possession.

Life would have been a tinctured of misery
and I’ve actually never stopped worry
thus life can always make us despair
But magically ‘puff!’ you can make them disappear

Never thought in 2008 i found you
though after a quick trial of relationship we argue
Who knows in 2010 we meet again
this time we’ll make it straight to the heaven.

I can be the place you’ll rely on
I can be the one who heals you from torn 
I am your angel without a magic wand
I can grant some of those wishes you want

You are a spectacular honey bee
Which can’t be found in any trees
You are a superman yes it’s true baby
You know how to love and makes me happy

Long distance does throw us fall apart
but you are never far you’re here in my heart
A one year to wait, a short course of affliction
A music of melancholy fills up the jar of  devastation.

This poem is here to tell you this
Let’s be together and make a faithful promise
that we will never betray we will be stiff
We will undertake any attack and definitely won the love-race!

I love you.

Cintaku

Jika kau lihat tingginya awan

Takkan tercakar tinggi cintaku

Hanya hati ku tahu apa mahuku

Kan duniaku pastinya milikmu

Hingga ke akhir hayatku.

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P.s : Lagu ni la sayang.

Hold on to yourself

Bruno Mars said : Don’t give up!

REPULSED

Semestinya ini bukan perasaan aku sahaja. Mungkin Dayah, bakal kakak ipar aku pun merasakan perkara yang sama. Feeling of being rejected. Rasa di benci, tak di sukai keluarga bakal mertua. Sungguh perkara ini sukar untuk di lalui. Sementelah lagi, mereka tidak mengenali anda. Sebolehnya aku tak nak ada perasaan sedemikian pada Dayah. Aku tak nak dia rasa she is not welcomed dalam family aku. Aku akan terima dia seadanya dia demi kebahagiaan Abang. Dan mereka telah pun bertunang semalam. Tahniah Abang & Dayah.

Bertunang, berkahwin, entering new family bukanlah perkara yang senang untuk di lalui mana2 wanita. Aku masih belum bersedia untuk semuanya tu. Mungkin aku takut dengan bayang2 aku sendiri. Aku takut aku tak mampu membahagiakan. Aku takut aku tak mampu merealisasikan imaginasi manis sang jejaka masa hadapan yang mengharap aku lah pilihan nya yang terbaik.

Aku tak bersedia. Aku masih terlalu naif untuk semua ini. Aku juga takut tidak disukai dan dibenci.

Dan biarlah jodoh yang menentukan.

Tersedar dari buaian mimpi yang panjang buat aku terbangun ketakutan. Aku betul2 hampa.

Episode 78 : Mimpi

For the first time sepanjang perkenalan, Hanis mimpi sesuatu yang akhirnya ada kaitan dengan daku. That particular dream was meant to be my scene but turned out upside down and Hanis played my role instead. Anyhow sayang, thanks for dreaming at last? hahaha also a big thank you for being my virtual superhero today. Didn’t know how to put everything into words but pour a little bit patience and we’ll be together inshaAllah.

For super wonderful man who was being with me through thick & thin, I love you.

12th December

Those pictures are basically what was happening last night. We had a very great shopping day and were very lucky to find a new chocolate factory outlet near Nile River!

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I found a super cute Giraffe tumbler and hairclips!! And and and the most funniest thing lies in this photo!

The car picture on the bottom left is their party symbol! As we were cruising across roads, there are Desk, Calculator, Strawberry, and much more symbols representing the party. How cute is that?